Children are the Future
There are a lot of things to consider when discussing the planning for children. There is, of course, when to have them, how many to have and boys or girls (not that I have a lot of control over that). But recently we found that there is one more option- whether to have them now, later or... NEVER! For a long time that never even crossed my mind. I assumed that we would get married and have babies because that is just what people do.We have become friends with a couple that have made the decision to not have children. I don't think that it is for everyone but if anyone is going to not have kids, I think they are suited for it. Being friends with them and talking about their decision is what brought that option to light for us.
Oh and just so that I don't end up in trouble here- I do NOT mean any of this to be offensive to those with kids or without them. I can most definitely understand both sides of the argument. And Blah Blah Blah!
James is in school right now and we don't have great jobs nor do we have a home so the point is pretty well moot for the time being. What we have decided is that we are not deciding yet. Who knows, we may get to Portland, have an awesome house, lots of money and say "I want a baby!". But right now my biological clock is not ticking at all.
posted by Mrs. Andrea Wood @ 1/31/2006 11:03:00 AM
9 Comments:
I think that rather than you saying "I want a baby!" you should make like The Hulk (as in Incredible, not Hogan) and say "Andrea want baby!" it would be much more romantic and make for much better story telling. I don't mean this to be offensive, but ever notice how babies are the norm and people who choose not to have them are wierd? I don't think that, but I do think it is sad that it is like that. Oh... so tired...
ARWEN WANT BABY! NO SCHOOL NO MORE! YOU-BABY! GET IN MY BELLY!
I think that couples who decide to not have children are brave. Our society just assumes that everyone who gets married wishes to procreate. I have one couple that we all know here in Portland that have decided to not have children. Other people think they are weird, I think they are fantastic. People don't understand why you wouldn't want to have children. It's what you are supposed to do.
I say, don't have children just because you are "supposed to". Have children because you are desperate for them and want to parent. As I watch more and more friends have babies, IT'S HARD WORK!!! Think about the kiddos more than yourself.
I think you and James would be great parents but only have them if you want them!
or...sometimes you knock up your wife while she's on birthcontrol, while you're living with roomates in a an old dingy house without heat, making enough money to qualify you for free government cheese (thats no lie), and working a second job that doesn't pay...hypothetically speaking...
i feel real compelled to comment here..because what you're talking about is something similar to what ben and i are experiencing. except that i won't comment the details because they're about as personal as can be. which makes this a non-comment basically...and what's the point of that?
oh, but here's one thing...rebember dr. mueller-kruse? she and her husband decided that they'd never have kids...wonder if that had anything to do with how freaking harsh she was as a professor?
Children! Children!
Future! Future!
Kori and I are thinking about the same thing.
i don't want a baby right now either. we can't afford one anyway. but i know someday i will and when that day comes . . . look out! untill then, stop asking me "when are you two gonna start having kids?" (not that you are asking, but people have been asking . . . they also say "are you gonna have as many kids as your mom?" no!).
take dr gross. he and his wife never planned to have kids and were married for like 12 years before "surprise!" they had one (not planned, but totally LOVED).
also, once when jon and i were picking out a new pair of eyeglasses for him a GREAT guy was helping us (Worked at the store) and he said "people like you need to have children. but the problem is, you are too responsible and you wait until you can afford it and then you only have one or two, all the while people who shouldn't be having kids have like 5 with different fathers and mothers and treat them like crap and raise them to have 5 kids as well . . ." yes, he had some broad generalized, potentially offensive statements there . . . but he also had a good point. people like you and james SHOULD be the ones parenting the children of the future. i can think of lots of people who i would never want as my parents . . . but you two. you'd be splendid.
Tim- I am so glad you caught that. Thanks!
Ryan- I suppose if God REALLY wants us to have kids we will. But if we have any say in the matter there won't be- at least not right now.
Tabs- you can be our child any time!
um. thanks? :)
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