Memphianisms
We moved from Portland Orgeon to Memphis Tennessee (we intend to move back) and we have had to make more than a few adjustments. We have had to learn that people here have no clue how to drive, there is no such thing as customer service and not the least of which is that we have had to learn a new language, ebonics.
In our daily interactions with strangers we have listened for our favorite ebonic sayings. Last week we went to the fast food place, Wendy's. We have learned not to expect customer service and of course, did not receive it. There was a man in the line ahead of us. He had already ordered his food and was waiting for it. One of the "to go" bags was sitting in front of him but none of the employees had said who the food was for or even just what was inside. The man wanted to know if that food belonged to him so he asked the woman behind the counter. She obviously didn't know what was in the bag, so she turned to one of her colleagues and asked (here is the Memphianism) "What dis is?". Yes, that was a question, "What dis is?"
It almost made my ears bleed. There are so many things wrong with that! What is amazing to me is that two ebonics speakers can hold a conversation. If both of them are speaking jibberish- how can anything be communicated, much less accomplished!?!?
I was telling a friend about our new favorite saying and she told us about a time in Costco when the woman in front of her had been rung up and the total came out to $115. The woman actually said the following; "Eleventy-five dolla. Good Lord, that is a lot uh money!"
It's not like I was an English major or that I always speak properly and I occassionally say "fur" instead of "for", but at least I try. Besides, last time I checked, the language of this country is English, this shouldn't be that foreign to most people.
Am I being too judgemental? Because, I really don't think that it is too much to expect that people make attempts to speak their own language in a way that is some what comprehensable.
A Fatherless Father's Day
Yesterday was not a good day for me. It was my first father's day without my father.
I wasn't even thinking about it until we got into church and they were doing a presentation honoring fathers. It was very sweet and all of these fathers deserved recognition- I don't want to take away from that. I had a hard time (I cried and cried) and that is not their fault.
Those of you that are close enough to your father (geographically), I hope you gave him a big hug. Those of you not close to your father, I hope you sent a card and called. If you didn't- do it now! No matter what has happened, he is your father and nothing will change that so please, love him and know him.
I miss my dad. He was one of the best people I have ever known. If you met him, he is one of the best people you have ever known (just trust me on this).
One of my brothers just called and the verdict has come back on the man that ran into my dad and killed him. They are going down to the courthouse now to find out. PLEASE pray for me and my family. I should know within about an hour.
Father's Day
No joke- On our way home from church last night I saw a billboard. It had a picture of a happy father lifting his little girl up in the air and they were laughing and having fun. WWWEEEEE!!!!!!!
What the billboard said is completely different! This is a direct quote "Mark this father's day with your yearly prostate exam" and the little girl was supposedly saying "Get your check, Daddy".
I don't know about any of the rest of you but I NEVER would have told my dad to go get a prostate exam. And I certainly wouldn't be that excited about it. This is not something that directly affects me so, I have not had such an exam but I can imagine that it is not pleasant. Because of that, I would think that most men would not want to celebrate a happy day that honors them with something so uncomfortable.
Weird.
Ear Candles
Over the weekend I was at the Thomases' house and they had people staying with them. Those people are Dorn and his sister Melanie (very cool people). Melanie had gone to Wild Oats and purchased these things called "ear candles". I had never heard of such a thing. Kristen and Dorn were willing to try these things- I think I will wait until I am in the privacy of my own home thanks.
Here is what you do:
step 1- put the little end of this hollow gausey thing in your ear
step 2- light the other end on fire
step 3- wait
step 4- have someone else make sure that the ashes don't fall on you by cutting them off
step 5- keep waiting
step 6- pull candle thing out of ear and place burning end into water to put it out
step 7- unroll what is left of the candle thing
step 8- be totally grossed out by what came out of your ear
step 9- show everyone
step 10- compare the amount of nasty wax that came out of your ears to the amount that came out of everyone else's ears.
If you thought that Q-tips did anything- You thought wrong!
Rizzo
Being "Altered"
Our dog, Rizzo is going in to be "altered" today. I am excited because now she can go to the dog park and we don't have to be afraid of little baby Rizzos.
I also feel like a mean person because before going in for major surgery, she couldn't eat. Last night we played with her but had to put her to bed without her evening tricks and snacks. Then this morning we got her up and put her in the car without letting her go past her dish so that she wouldn't realize that she wasn't being fed. I'm still not sure that it worked.
You know how it is common for dogs to get excited and when they are excited, they pee on the floor? Well, luckily for us our dog doesn't do that. Instead she poops- right there, wherever that might be. So, when we walked in the door to the vet's this morning, she got excited because of the other dog that was there and proceeded to poop on the floor. The lady at the office was really nice about it (I'm sure that this is not the first time that they have had poop in their office) but then I end up being the lady with the office pooping dog. Lucky me.
I'm sure she will be fine but, pray for my dog. Thanks.
I know you were worried
I know that all of you were on pins and needles wanting to know how poor Snickers (the dog) has been. She is doing much better.
She went to the vet and had her staples removed. They figured that since she was there they would have her shots updated as well so that they would only have to pay for one doctor's visit. Needless to say when they brought her over right after leaving the vet's, she was grumpy! I don't blame her. She had one metal taken out of her only to have different metal put into her. Ouch!
She tries to run but it is this quick little gimpy limp (I wish I could show you a video clip- it is kinda cute in that "aww, poor thing" kind of way). That certainly does not stop her from getting around. But now you can all sleep soundly knowing that Snickers is going to be just fine.
